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Cordy Grrr

xlivvielockex in still_grrr

Prompt 021 Makeup Fic

Title Trading Spaces
Author Kelly
Rating PG-13
Word Count 652
Prompt 021: Soul Trade
Characters/Pairing (if any) Angel and the Fang Gang
A/N: Not up for voting, like usual

“Angel, god, keep your hands to yourself there!”

“I can’t help it, Cordelia. They are right there, sticking out in front. How am I supposed to avoid them?”

“I don’t know, put your hands on your hips. No wait, that is no good either. Just put your hands up over your head.”

“I am not putting my hands up over my head. How about at my sides, is that good enough?”

“English, how much longer is this going take? I feel like I am stuck in some clothes that are three sizes too small.”

“It will be a few more moments, Gunn. I am trying to look up the antidote as quickly as possible.”

Both men turned when Cordelia began to giggle.

“What is so funny, Barbie?”

“It is just hilarious to hear you talk, Gunn. With that perfect English accent. And then Wes trying to be all proper in your voice. It’s funny!”

“Yeah, well don’t forget that your voice sounds like a guy, there.”

She covered her mouth as she remembered but quickly lowered her hand. “Hello, my name is Angel. I love the Spice Girls.” She paused. “Oooh, this could be fun.”

“Cordelia, don’t even think about it.”

She just ignored Angel. “How about we go watch Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion.”


“What? And my god, do not wrinkle my forehead like that with your brooding! You are going to give me lines.” She moved over to Angel, trying to smooth out her own forehead. “And no frowning either, you’ll give me lines around my mouth.”

“You keep it up, I am touching your chest again.”

“You better not or I will schedule a sex change operation for you!”

“English…come on, what is the hold up. We already know we got hit with some mystical hoobajoo from that big demon. Just figure out how to put us back into our own bodies.”

“As I said before, I am working as quickly as I can. If everyone would please control themselves, I could think more clearly without the din.”

“Touchy, Gunley.” Cordelia grinned at her joke. But it was short lived as she shifted uncomfortably, trying to readjust…down there. “I have no idea how you guys live with these things. If I had a penis, I’d never be able to wear tight dresses again. How do drag queens do it?”

“I think they tuck.” Angel offered.

Cordelia looked at him, brow raised. “Exactly how do you know that? Wait, no, I don’t think I want to know the answer. You are acting way too comfortable in my body. Maybe I SHOULD schedule that operation.”

“Well, Angel does work male or female.” Gunn offered.

“Hey! I do not want to be a woman or a drag queen. I am all man. Well, not right now, but you know, when we aren’t under a spell.”

“True, you are too much of an oblivious jackass to be a woman. And you can’t keep your hands off my breasts!” Cordelia smacked his hands away once more.

“Thank you…I think. And oww, watch out. You are strong now.”

“I think I have got it.” Wesley walked out with a book in his hands, having a bit of trouble coordinating himself in his now much larger body. “We first must return to the place where the demon put the spell on us.”

“About time. I was starting to have thoughts about molesting myself there.” Cordelia jerked a thumb towards Angel in her body. She paused when she saw Angel’s hands. “Do you get a manicure?”

“Well,” His eyes shifted to look at the others in the room, “I have to. I get blood and demon junk under there. I like to keep clean.”

“You are SUCH a girl!” Cordelia said as she headed for the door.

Angel was about to protest but he looked down at himself. He sighed. Once again, Cordelia was right.


Tee hee! Very funny! :)
Thank you very much. :) I am really glad you enjoyed it and found it funny.
I think it is pretty obvious who I love characterwise. LOL I am glad you found it funny though. Thank you for the feedback.

I love the line: “What? And my god, do not wrinkle my forehead like that with your brooding!"

I love imagining the characters acting like each other. I bet the cast would have loved doing a scene like this.

Angel as a drag queen- Oh girl, you know they would read that poor boy, til he cried. Facing demons is one thing, but being read by a Bitch Queen is harsh!

Angel'd make an ugly girl anyway. Some girls can pull it off but not him, not with that jawline. And I would just love to see one of the local girls read him. Now those are the kinds of episodes ATS needed!
That was fun!!! Thanks for sharing!
I am glad that you enjoyed it. :)
This is great, and Cordelia is hilarious and very in character!
Thank you very much. Cordy is my fave character to write, just comes really easily to me but it is always nice to have validation that I still nail her characterization. Thank you. :)
So funny. You just shine when you write Cordy, and this fic is no exception. I laughed so much reading this, and it's still as funny on reread.
I know. I am just that awesome. When are you going to realize that and run away to the tropics with me? (Or you know, run to London to stalk Stephen Fry?)
That was very fun. :) I love that Angel gets his nails done.
Well, he did stay awfully clean for a guy who hunts demons for a living. LOL Has to be something there. But thank you for reading and leaving a comment. Always appreciated.
Brilliant had me laughing away at myself once again strange looks from my family wondering what on earth i am doing
Cordy Grrr

January 2017



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